Do you ever find that you honestly want to do all the things, but all the things are just too much? Before you even realize it, you are at a standstill and further behind than when it all started?
My intentions start out in a positive place.
I think, "This will be good for the Art Girl inside of me that is longing to learn new techniques, and get the funk out!" I have all of these ideas and random inspiration floating around in my head. Maybe a little guidance from an online workshop and a teacher will help focus my thoughts and set me on a forward path? Well it turns out that when you get involved in said "online groups" you should probably only choose one at a time. Not multiple ones like I did. Um, yeah.
I am (was...am) involved in a group that wants me to create something artistic, no matter how small, everyday for I don't remember how long. In another workshop I have 10 days to create a finished piece of artwork according to their prompts and guidelines. I started an online class that was to help center myself and process through good/bad stress. Oh and for a little something different, I also started an online class to learn how to play classical guitar. On top of all this, I have two teenage daughters, a house that NEEDS some serious spring cleaning, a couple dogs that have to be kept separate at all times, a part-time job and I was doing the Whole30 torture on top of it all. (I have since been told that I am not allowed to do the Whole30 ever again)
I have a daily reminder calendar that has fallen off the wagon about two weeks into the program. I have a mostly finished piece of artwork that will be really nice when I sit my ass down and finish it. I'm not sure what happened with the guitar class and the stress management classes. I did finish the Whole30 without cheating. I must tell you it was the hardest "diet" I have ever done and that's a lot coming from a girl that had an eating disorder in high school. Its a diet that is great for resetting and healing your body and gut, but the restrictions were quite severe.
How is the Art Girl inside of me you ask? She is doing great! I am making new art everyday. Even if it's just a few minutes a day. A new chalkboard was created at work yesterday and if I sit down and work on the piece that was started for the 10 day workshop, some kick ass art will be shared with the world! I'm trying to do meditation. At least 20 minutes in the morning before the house wakes up. Stress is stress. Some is good and some not so much. The point is to complain less and be thankful more.
So do I have a point to all of this? I do.
ART IS MESSY. Not only physically, it's messy mentally too. When things get too neat and bland, that's what comes out. Trying new things is good, even if I don't get all the way through it. Who is judging me? ME! So stop being so fucking hard on me!
Not all artists produce their art in a storm like I do and that is what works . Follow your inner voice, even if that means you dump it all and have to start over. At least you can start over.
-The Art Girl
